Some thoughts I had a while back

Well I just listened and mildly participated in an engaging conversation with an engaging group of people talking about an engaging topic…namely society, faith, church, recycling and life in general… and though the topics were for the most part well above my head…I was able to conclude that one…I am far too wasteful, two… I don't necessarily believe everything I've ever been told, three… everyone needs to reevaluate what they believe in, four…  I am currently wasting my life, five… up until recently I had never realized that although I have tried to be different, I am still the same, and six… my life has a purpose, and that following the bandwagon, and doing what is the accepted norm, what other people want me to do, because its what they think is the direction for my life, and what's good and proper in their eyes, will never actually lead me to a personal understanding of the person of Christ, the meaning of life, and an understanding of purpose, and will never actually allow me to discover who, I, want me to be. I don't want to do something, or become someone, because it's what someone else wants for me. I want to discover, for myself, who I am, and I do not need to follow a prescribed pattern for success…what has worked for "everyone" else… just because its what everyone expects of me. I believe in free will, and that god allows us to make mistakes, and live our lives, discovering who we are, and who he is, so that we can truly have a personal relationship with him…not one built on the beliefs and experiences of those around us. God created each one of us in his own image… completely different, both physically and spiritually, from each other, and doest expect us to follow a prescribed pattern of living, that sacrifices that individuality he has given us, in order to fit a mold that is patterned after what the world and the "church" say is the most successful way to live… and to love, your life, and your God. If anything Christ himself should be the pattern, not some organization, group, or popular opinion, of how a successful and "good" person should behave and live, both their faith, and their everyday life. While having a comfortable life is; appealing, having money is not bad, and being indebted to others is not wise, or good; worrying about "success" and comfort, thinking that the only way to live a life that provides for your needs is to, follow the worlds proscribed path to success, and forgetting that in the long run the plans and concerns of man are nothing compared to the direction and provision of our god, is not only foolish, but bad, and wrong.

            So… in all this blathering on, am I saying that doing the norm is bad, that following societies' path is wrong, or some other extremist, sell all your possessions and live in a cave, mumbo jumbo, no. I am simply making the observation that upon evaluating my own life, I have discovered that certain… conventions of society… rub me a bit in the wrong direction. That certain accepted patterns in the way everyone chooses to live, aren't for me.

            I've decided that while I like money, I have no burning desire to posses it beyond my needs, and no fear of failing at life, because I have chosen a path that may cause me hardship and want.

            I have decided that, while education is valuable, it is not more valuable than experience, and I chose to never put myself in a position where my experience is sacrificed for the sake of education, or for the worries of finance. I would much rather live a life where I can be satisfied with the choices I've made, and the overall environment I find myself in, the experiences I've had, than one where I cannot tolerate my environment or stand the choices I've made (or others have made for me), simply because they were deemed the choices that create the path of least resistance.